A Girl Who Felt Everything

 

A Girl who felt Everything.

Some girls are known for their laughter, some for their ambition and some for how little they show. But me? I’ve always been the girl who felt everything.

Emotions have never been background music in my life, they’re soundtrack. The loud highs, the aching lows, the moments of still silence when I’m just sitting with a feeling I can’t name. I used to think maybe I was too sensitive, too much. But over time, I’ve come to see that emotional depth is not a burden. It’s a language. And I’ve become fluent in it.

I started getting more curious about why we respond emotionally the way we do. Why does one moment makes us cry while another makes us feel nothing? why does a compliment feel healing on some days and hollow on others? These questions led me to study of emotional patterns and recently, to a book by Ian Morgan. His work on the Enneagram has been a relevation . It maps not just behaviour but the deep-rooted emotional habits behind it. Reading it feels like someone is gently turning on a light inside me, one room at a time.

And as i read, I recognize myself. The girl who feels responsible for others’ happiness. The girl who smiles even when her heart aches. The girl who doesn’t always say what she feels,but feels it all. Understanding the ennegram has helped me realise that emotional responses aren’t random. They’re rooted in core motivations, childhood patterns and survival mechanisms we developed to feel safe.

In this path of self awareness, one voice that has quietly yet deeply shaped my thinking is that of Shri. Avinash Dharmadhikari Sir. His thoughts shared through his writings and deeply reflective lectures-carry the kind of clarity that stays long after the words are gone. What I deeply admire is how he weaves emotional maturity with grounded wisdom. His words remind us that emotional strength is not about suppressing feelings but holding space for them with clarity and calm.

One of the ideas that has stayed with me is his emphasis on self honesty. That inner transparency - "स्वतःशी प्रामाणिक असणं "  has been life altering. Sir doesn’t ask us to be perfect, he simply asks us to be present with what we truly feel and respond with integrity. That kind of emotional discipline doesn’t silence the heart-it gives it direction. In a world where reactions are immediate, his voice reminds me to pause, reflect and then act.

He often speaks about the power of Calmness: "YOUR ABILITY TO PERFORM THE BEST WHEN IT MATTERS TO THE MOST" - that true strength is not loosing our centre even in emotional storms. And honestly, I carry that reminder into so many moments, especially when I’m overwhelmed. It teaches me that when I feel everything I don’t have to react to everything.

In the same spirit of exploring emotional expression, I’ve also become curious about Dance Movement Therapy(DMT). The idea that the body can express what the heart is still processing fascinates me. DMT, to me, isn’t just about a movement- it’s about release healing and non verbal language of emotions. I feel drawn to it, especially when words fall short or when emotional energy needs a safe outlet.

There’s a thing about emotional responses-they’re not always logical. They come with the shadows of past experiences, the weight of how we’ve perceived and the need to belong.

And there’s him, the one whose smile once paused time for me. Even in silence, he made my heart feel too much. One look and I would spiral in questions. But I didn’t beg to be seen. I let my love stay quiet. Emotional responses like these teaches me something deeper that choosing grace even in heartbreak, is strength. And that silence, sometimes be more powerful than speaking up.

I’ve felt in joy in unexpected conversations, anxiety in moments of confrontation and deep peace while journaling alone under the sky. Each emotion left something behind. And slowly, I’m learning not to judge them, but to witness them.

If you’re someone who feels deeply, who cries at movies, overthinks texts and smiles wide when the soul feels safe, you’re not fragile. You’re awake. You’re human in a world that often asks us to shut down.

This blog, this space-it’s for us. For the ones who want to understand their emotional blueprint. For the one’s exploring DMT, personal studies, poetry or even silence, just to make sense of what we carry inside.

Because I’m not a girl who feels everything, I’m a girl who’s learning what to do with everything she feels.